Sunday, August 22, 2010

more than we can handle

God does not give us more than we can handle.

I have heard that phrase numerous of times.
Our nurse was the first to say it,
while we held our dying Kathleen in our arms.
At the time it seemed comforting, a nice thing to believe.
Then the days went by, the weeks, the months.
My pain grew deeper and stronger and I started to wonder.
To wonder if this was really a promise of God.
So I opened up His book and came to find..
there is no such verse. No such promise.
But what He does promise us is strength when we are weak.
Rest when our burdens are heavy.
Peace when our hearts are troubled.
He promises us struggles in life, but a Heaven without tears.

So here is what I do believe..
God does in fact give us MORE than we can handle.
He allows it so we will rely on Him, not ourselves.
Rely on His strength, not our own.

As another blogger puts it:
My entire LIFE has been more than *I* could handle,
but I've yet to come across anything in my life
that has been too much for God to handle.

Or to paraphrase the phrase..
God doesn't give us what we can handle...
God helps us handle what we are given!

Monday, August 2, 2010

what if

What if Kathleen was still here?
What would our lives look like?
It's hard for me to imagine life with her.
Life that is less painful, less complicated, less stressful.
Life that is less challenging, and more comfortable.
Maybe even boring??

I thought of this today and realized how full my life is.
Full because she is not here!
Because of her I have met some most wonderful amazing people.
Because of her I am a better person, more compassionate.
Because of her I feel more, cry more and maybe even laugh more.
Because of her I feel fulfilled as I help others who too have lost.
Because of her I appreciate life and the miracle it truly, truly is.

As much as her absence hurts it has blessed and enriched my life in so many ways. I probably don't even see all the blessings yet. But slowly, slowly God is revealing them to me.

What if she was still here?
If she was here maybe Kaden wouldn't be.
So I hug my little boy and I thank Kathleen for her many gifts.