Yesterdays sermon was about hitting the pause button in a hectic life. It may sound strange as a mother of three children, two of them being babies, but I don't feel like my life is hectic and playing in fast forward. Contrary I actually feel like my life is finally in play mode again, after having been in slow motion for so long. After I lost Kathleen my days seemed endless and months felt like years. I think grief slows everything down as you watch life from inside your bubble. And then every month I waited and hoped that my womb would be filled with new life, that I would be restored. For a long time I felt that was all my life was filled with: grief and waiting, and then more grief. After thirteen months of waiting my prayers were finally answered and my little Kaden was conceived, but then came more waiting - waiting for him to arrive, and much of that waiting was spent on bed rest. Life for me continued to be in slow motion. The day he was born and was safe and sound in my arms was the day when my life entered play mode again. I still grieve my Kathleen, but I am no longer waiting, no longer living life in slow motion. How grateful I am for play mode, for being alive, feeling alive.